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"As a sex writer, Jesse Bering is fearless—and peerless." —Dan Savage
"You are a sexual deviant. A pervert, through and through." We may not want to admit it, but as the award-winning columnist and psychologist Jesse Bering reveals in Perv, there is a spectrum of perversion along which we all sit. Whether it's voyeurism, exhibitionism, or your run-of-the-mill foot fetish, we all possess a suite of sexual tastes as unique as our fingerprints—and as secret as the rest of the skeletons we've hidden in our closets.
Combining cutting-edge studies and critiques of landmark research and conclusions drawn by Sigmund Freud, Alfred Kinsey, and the DSM-5, Bering pulls the curtain back on paraphilias, arguing that sexual deviance is commonplace. He explores the countless fetishists of the world, including people who wear a respectable suit during the day and handcuff a willing sexual partner at night. But he also takes us into the lives of "erotic outliers," such as a woman who falls madly in love with the Eiffel Tower; a pair of deeply affectionate identical twins; those with a particular penchant for statues; and others who are enamored of crevices not found on the human body.
Moving from science to politics, psychology, history, and his own reflections on growing up gay in America, Bering confronts hypocrisy, prejudice, and harm as they relate to sexuality on a global scale. Humanizing so-called deviants while at the same time asking serious questions about the differences between thought and action, he presents us with a challenge: to understand that our best hope of solving some of the most troubling problems of our age hinges entirely on the amoral study of sex.
As kinky as it is compassionate, illuminating, and engrossing, Perv is an irresistible and deeply personal book. "I can't promise you an orgasm at the end of our adventure," Bering writes, "but I can promise you a better understanding of why you get the ones you do."
- Sales Rank: #83290 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-10-08
- Released on: 2013-10-08
- Format: Kindle eBook
From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. In a book as informative as it is entertaining, Bering (Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?) argues for the efficacy of science and logic over irrational morals when addressing sexual deviancy. Citing numerous studies and historical sources, Bering makes the claim that, deep down, we are all sexual deviants in one form or another—and that sexual deviancy is, in fact, not deviant at all. From the beginning of human history, people have engaged in antiheteronormative behaviors, from bestiality to pedophilia. Furthermore, Bering shows how most sexual deviancy isn't a choice, but rather is the result of a genetic predisposition over which the individual has no control. Laws and medical diagnoses controlling sexual activity should investigate whether the activities in question cause harm (though harm itself is subjective, and is therefore also a problematic way to assess behavior), rather than whether society is merely grossed out by them. This is clearly a personal topic for Bering, who is gay and, in fact, discusses his experiences of self-loathing and discrimination. Despite the occasional preachy paragraph, Bering's latest is a delightful, intelligent, and thought-provoking addition to the growing body of our sexual knowledge of self. Agent: Peter Tallack, the Science Factory. (Oct.)
Review
“As informative as it is entertaining . . . Bering's latest is a delightful, intelligent, and thought-provoking addition to the growing body of our sexual knowledge of self.” ―Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“Bering's a supple, witty writer, and praiseworthy terms like wry and irreverent suggest themselves readily. The book is a humane flirtation with the often-strange intimacies that drive people's lives.” ―Michael Washburn, The Boston Globe
“A master craftsman at refashioning reproductive biology into provocative composition, Bering nimbly probes ‘the darkest corners of our sexual nature" with no illicit aftertaste.'” ―Kirkus Reviews
“Against a colorful backdrop of science, history, and psychology, Bering calls on human society to stop judging people's sexual preferences based on a personal belief about what's normal or natural, instead asking what is harmful. [He] throws a bucket of ice-cold water on topics that often become overheated by the fires of morality, religion, and politics.” ―The Scientist
“[A] lively exploration of sexual perversion . . . Bering has a very entertaining writing style, but don't let that distract you from the serious stuff he's talking about: this isn't just a list of so-called perversions but, instead, an exploration of the way the human mind and body work and the way we are all just a little bit unusual.” ―Booklist
“As a sex writer, Jesse Bering is fearless--and peerless.” ―Dan Savage
“Like a slightly kinky friend, Perv is sometimes weird, often revelatory, and always enthralling. You'd expect a book about sexual perversions to be at least interesting, but in Jesse Bering's hands it's also smart, humorous, and eminently humane.” ―Florence Williams, author of Breasts: A Natural and Unnatural History
“Perv is a deeply fascinating and surprisingly insightful peek into the weird world of human sexuality. With his shocking examples and unique evolutionary approach, Jesse Bering provides perhaps the best testament out there to Mark Twain's immortal quip that man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.” ―Laurie Santos, Associate Professor of Psychology and Director of the Comparative Cognition Laboratory, Yale University
“Come to gawk, stay to learn. Jesse Bering has written a fascinating, funny, and scientifically literate book about all the aspects of sex you didn't want to think about. Perv will change the way you see yourself and everyone around you.” ―Art Markman, Ph.D., author of Smart Thinking and Habits of Leadership
“If truth be told--and Jesse Bering urges us to be honest--we're all perverts. And if you're not, then most around you are. Bering pulls no punches in this engrossing romp through the history, cultural relativism, politics, and science of sexuality. He brings shadowy taboos out to the front stage for a juicy, humorous, and nonjudgmental outing. Perv is a page-turner that is hard to put down.” ―Bruce Hood, Chair of Developmental Psychology in Society, University of Bristol, and author of The Self Illusion
“Jesse Bering's Perv is a copiously researched, scientifically solid, fascinating and fun ride through a museum of sexual oddities that makes a strong argument for why we need to ease up on our sneers at the 'erotic outliers' and admit the reality: To perv is human.” ―Amy Alkon , author of I See Rude People
“In this unusual and wonderful book, Jesse Bering makes a persuasive case that we are all perverts. Bering is funny, brave, and deeply compassionate toward those whose desires cause suffering to themselves and others. This brilliant book will appeal to anyone who wants to learn more about the most unruly and intimate aspects of our lives.” ―Paul Bloom, Brooks and Suzanne Ragen Professor of Psychology, Yale University, and author of Just Babies: The Origins of Good and Evil
“I have yet to come away from reading one of [Bering's] essays and not feel considerably better informed than I was just minutes before.” ―Forbes with praise for 'Why Is the Penis Shaped like That?'
“Excellent in its entirety, woven of Bering's rare tapestry of scientific rigor and a powerful, articulate social point of view.” ―Brain Pickings with praise for 'Why Is the Penis Shaped like That?'
About the Author
Jesse Bering is the author of The Belief Instinct and Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That? His writing and research have appeared in Slate, Scientific American, New York magazine, Cosmopolitan, The Guardian, and The New Republic, among other publications, and have been featured by NPR, Playboy Radio, and more. Bering is the former director of the Institute of Cognition and Culture at Queen's University, Belfast, and began his career as a professor at the University of Arkansas. He lives in Ithaca, New York.
Most helpful customer reviews
53 of 57 people found the following review helpful.
Uncomfortably "Pervect"
By Book Shark
Perv: The Sexual Deviant In All of Us by Jesse Bering
"Perv: The Sexual Deviant In All of Us" is the uncomfortable, relentless, fearless look into the not-so-uncommon devious world of human sexuality. Dr. Jesse Bering is on a courageous quest to expose the full spectrum of erotic manifestations. The fascinating topic is equaled only by Bering's innate ability to use scientific research into a narrative that provokes, shocks and ultimately educates. This entertaining 289-page book includes the following seven chapters: 1. We're All Perverts, 2. Damn Dirty Apes, 3. Sister Nymph and Brother Satyr, 4. Cupid the Psychopath, 5. It's Subjective, My Dear, 6. A Suitable Age, and 7. Life Lessons for the Lewd and Lascivious.
Positives:
1. A very engaging writing style that relies on good research, sound science and humor. Refreshingly open resulting from years of having to live in fear for no other reason other than being.
2. The fascinating yet surprisingly neglected topic of human sexuality in the fearless hands of one Dr. Jesse Bering. Sexual perversions...oh my.
3. This book in many respects is a plea to stop judging people's sexual preferences on what is considered normal and instead on what is considered harmful. It's a book in defense of "erotic outliers".
4. Making clear what you are going to get out of this book besides being thoroughly entertained, "What you're going to discover along the way is that you have a lot more in common with the average pervert than you may be aware. I'll be sharing with you a blossoming new science of human sexuality, one that's revealing how "sexual deviancy" is in fact far less deviant than most of us assume."
5. The origin and evolution of the word perversion...who knew? I'm not going to spoil it for you, you perv.
6. Dr. Bering provides much insight into what it's like to be gay in his own unique way. The education is appreciated. "For almost a hundred years to follow, psychiatrists saw gays and lesbians as quite obviously mentally ill."
7. Don't let the humor and self deprecation fool you...this book is surprisingly deep. "We've become so focused as a society on the question of whether a given sexual behavior is evolutionarily "natural" or "unnatural" that we've lost sight of the more important question: Is it harmful?"
8. Interesting scientific research, "Research on the "white bear effect" by the social psychologist Daniel Wegner has shown, for instance, that forcing a person to suppress specific thoughts leads to those very thoughts invading the subject's consciousness even more than they otherwise would."
9. Some of the stories will just blow you away! Fascinating, disgusting..."You've heard of the witch hunts in Salem, but I'm guessing you're not as familiar with the pig-man hunts of New Haven." Oh and wait until you find out the origins of the word "prodigy". Oh my science! So much more...
10. The problem of sexual harm. Dr. Bering is very careful to distinguish what is an allowable form of sexual perversions and what is harmful. "One reason it's so difficult for us to exercise our mental faculties in a proper way when it comes to the subject of deviant sex, instead being ruled by emotional reactions that fail to give accurate weight to the question of harm, is what we might call "the disgust factor."
11. The correlation between podophilia and social diseases. Interesting, find out what psychologist Giannini had to say about this.
12. Good use of science to make points and honestly where would we be without evolution? "This overall pattern of findings makes some sense in evolutionary terms. When the system works smoothly, sexual arousal can serve to anesthetize the otherwise adaptive disgust response long enough for people to get on with the Darwinian business of reproduction."
13. Cultural differences as they relate to human sexuality. Find out about the shocking ritual of the Sambia of Papua New Guinea. "Very little is universal when it comes to human sexuality."
14. Misogyny rears its ugly head. "When we hear the phrase "female genital mutilation," our thoughts usually sail over to Africa, but the practice of eliminating a woman's capacity for sexual pleasure by removing critical parts of her anatomy has a distinctively Western history, too."
15. Everything you wanted to know about paraphilia. "It was Stekel who coined the term "paraphilia." The first part of the word, para-, is Greek for "other" or "outside of," and -philia translates roughly to "loving.""
16. Example after example of paraphilia...from the strange to the oh my science! "The cause of melissaphilia, and of every other paraphilia, indeed exists, but how to establish that cause ethically is the bane of every science-minded sexologist."
17. Defining illnesses. "The basic rule is this: no matter how deviant your deviant desires, if you're not hurting anyone (or anything), and if your sexuality isn't causing you personal distress, then you don't meet the criteria for a mental illness connected to your paraphilia."
18. The differences between the sexes. "Once a man's sexual tastes emerge, they are less susceptible to change or adaptation than a woman's." "Again, a woman's genitals can be in stark disagreement with her desires."
19. An interesting look at age-of-consent laws.
20. One of the most important themes of the book, "Morally, all that matters--and allow me to reiterate that because I feel it's quite important, all that matters--is whether a person's sexual deviancy is demonstrably harmful."
21. Notes included.
Negatives:
1. This book is not for the prudish. It is guaranteed to disgust and make you uncomfortable, there is no way around this. Certain topics are in fact very difficult to get through.
2. This is not so much a negative on the book but on the lack of scientific research on human sexuality. We need more scientific research on human sexuality!
3. Notes included were helpful but a separate formal bibliography would have added value.
4. With so many terms a glossary of at the very least of all the paraphilias presented in the book would have been appreciated.
5. Provocative title but I fear it's going to repel those who need to read this book the most. Oh well their loss!
6. A few cheap shots...in all honesty Santorum had that coming.
In summary, I need a shower! Kudos to Dr. Bering for having the courage to write such an interesting and fearless book on topics considered uncomfortable to say the least. Human sexuality is such a neglected area in science in large part because of lack of sexual ethics and a morality grounded in scientific facts. We need more research and books like this one to help the public gain a better understanding of human sexuality and hence improve society. I highly recommend this book!
Further suggestions: "Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?: And Other Reflections on Being Human" and "The Belief Instinct: The Psychology of Souls, Destiny, and the Meaning of Life" by the same author, "Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire" by Eric Berkowitz, "Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships" by Christopher Ryan, "The Sexual History of London: From Roman Londinium to the Swinging City---Lust, Vice, and Desire Across the Ages" by Catharine Arnold, "Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality" by Darrel Ray, "Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex" by Mary Roach, "This Is Your Brain on Sex: The Science Behind the Search for Love" by Kayt Sukel, "Vagina: A New Biography" by Naomi Wolf, "Hardwired Behavior: What Neuroscience Reveals about Morality" by Laurence Tancredi, "Braintrust: What Neuroscience Tells Us about Morality" by Patricia S. Churchland, and "The Science of Love" by Robin Dunbar.
30 of 34 people found the following review helpful.
Appropriately titled, interesting and thoughtful
By Ionia Froment
*WARNING: DO not read this book if you are the type that is offended by...almost anything. More specifically by things of a frank sexual nature. Don't say I did not warn you. However, if you are perv like me that is disturbed by little and finds humour in negative spaces, then please by all means, proceed.*
This is an interesting book. I mean interesting in multiple ways. While clearly the author is highly educated and knows quite a lot about human sexuality and the forces that drive deviant behaviour, this is not your typical textbook look at said situation.
Instead, this author uses a humorous approach to recounting his own experiences and gives his opinion on the matters at hand. He is very open, honest and I found him entertaining, although it should be noted that his non-religious views may offend some as he does not hold back when speaking of his disbelief in a higher power.
I am not sure there is a single subject in the realm of deviance that this author did not explore. There are moments that will make you blush, a few that might make your stomach turn and many more still that will make you think about civilisation as a whole and how we came to be how we are. One thing I really did enjoy about this book was his nonpartisan attitude. This author does not make harsh judgments against anyone, but simply gives the reader a chance to view things from an objective perspective. He does not try to influence your beliefs, yet feels comfortable enough to offer his own opinion.
While I did not agree with all of the author's views, I did see things his way a good number of times. I was happy to see that he had included the findings of the psychologist Daniel Wegner, as his study has shed light on a number of different fields through the theories he has formed and the evidence he has provided to support those theories.
Overall, this was the interesting type of book that will invade your thoughts (for the good and bad) for a long time after reading it. If you can look at things analytically without feeling too emotionally attached or becoming easily enraged, this would be a good book for you. I would not recommend it to those who offend easily, but the title should have told you that much anyway.
This review is based off of a digital ARC from the publisher and Netgalley.
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Bering is a "Masters of Sex" (couldn't resist mentioning the new show)
By Eric Selby
Ironically this book has entered the book market at the same time as Showtime's "Masters of Sex" has reached out TV sets.
I had not read anything by Jesse Bering before--had never heard of him--but am delighted I took a chance on "Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us." This is not a scholar's type of book although it is written with extensive--and very interesting--footnotes as well as a very extensive bibliography.
The book is what it says it is: a work about the rich diversity of human sexuality, a topic that intrigued
Dr. William Masters and Virginia Masters several decades ago. (By the way, I also highly recommend "Masters of Sex" with its very ironic title.) But I suspect that the mainstream public, especially those who are religiously and politically conservative would shun this book. Yet, ironically, this is exactly the book they should be reading to broaden their horizons.
Quite possibly gay men--and I am one--such as the author have more of a curiosity about the uniquenesses of what "turns people on" sexually because we have been admonished for being "perverts" and have had to struggle with that issue. However, Masters and Johnson discovered decades ago that straight people are just as "perverted" as gays.
In Bering's book, he reclaims the word "pervert" (or as he calls all of us, "pervs") by showing that there are so many varieties of fantasies.
A work like this should be seen as just another opening up of dialogue. I straight minister I know who struggles with issues around homosexuality--he is so against gay marriage--said this to me, "I don't know what makes men homosexuals." And I thought to myself, "Then why are you not asking them, including me?" But I knew that he wanted to retain his closed-mindedness, choosing to believe that he can "like the sinner but dislike the sin," something he actually once said to me. And this is just the person who should be reading this book.
Bering is a scholar. And it shows in the writing with so many references to so many people, ranging from people of letters to scientists to persons in the popular culture. I read the review where all the details of chapter titles and content are listed, so will not repeat that other than to say the reviewer is thorough and accurate although I don't agree with some of the negatives as being actual negatives.
I highly recommend this book. The perfect gift to your homophobic minister-types.
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